Crisis of Sweet and Sour
by Vianerd
Summary: Paulie Pretztail gets infected by a different sort of sour candy, turning him into a monster. Though one certain, unusually brave Fudgehog manages to stop his friend's sour rampage - but at what cost? (Mainly based on the cartoon, but has lots of references to the games and their characters.)
1. Prologue

_Electricity wires are down, rainbow colours fade into brown  
I dreamt your smile was shifting for good  
Courageous boy, now you are gone  
And run faster, yet have no place to go  
Your spirit still burns, and so life goes on_

- Jónsi, _Boy Lilikoi_

The day was just like any other day. Nothing special seemed to happen, and the natural cycle of Langston Lickatoad chasing after renegade piñatas Fergy Fudgehog and Paulie Pretztail was in full swing once more. The two hid behind a bush, panting, hoping that they had lost their pursuer.  
"You can't run forever! There's a party you two need to go to!"  
The persevering frog stood up on his tiptoes and looked around the area to spot his 'victims'. But he could not see them, for they were hidden exceptionally well this time.  
Wait – he saw something. It was multi-coloured and stuck out like a sore thumb between the natural greens, like a piñata hiding in a bush. Because that was exactly what it was.  
"A-HA! Gotcha!" Langston whooped triumphantly, throwing his net over the odd-coloured hump. It initiated a yelp from the Fudgehog, who then began running in circles in an attempt to shake the pursuer off. His friend Paulie could have helped, and he would've done so, as he always did – but for some reason he didn't. He just stood there, snickering. Almost sadistically, at his friend's misfortune.  
"What are you laughing at?!" Fergy called angrily. "Can't you see he's caught me?"  
"'Course I can see that, Fergs," Paulie said, amused by the quirky display of the tiny frog wrangling the much-larger hedgehog.  
It took a while, but eventually Fergy managed to shake Langston off, and the little papery amphibian was sent flying over the trees. A particularly chuffed Fergy stumbled back to his friend.  
"What was that for? Why didn't you help me?"  
"You know that when Langston's got you, you're on your own, do you? Sheesh…"  
The Fudgehog was seething. He had never seen his friend act like this before! He bounced up and down on his little legs furiously. "You just made that up! Paulie! You're… you're a…"  
Paulie wasn't impressed. Fergy hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes tightened to slits in rage.  
"…A Cluckle-headed dumb-_dumb_!"  
"…Really?" If anything, the unusual insult just made him smirk. "Well then, you're a pain in the behind. I can't believe I still put up with you. See ya."  
As he said this, the Pretztail turned around and left the scene. Fergy was astounded.  
"HEY! Come back!" But the plea fell on deaf ears. "I'm not done with you! Some friend you turned out to be…!"  
"Who said we were friends?" He stopped and turned around to look at the befuddled Fudgehog, and with an unusually mean, almost volatile snarl, he spoke. "We're not friends. And you? You're just a pathetic wimp!"  
He growled again, turned around, and bounded off into the bushes, his papery, red tail waving behind him.  
Fergy couldn't get himself to say anything. He sat down, rubbing his forepaws together, tears forming in his eyes. His lower lip trembled and he burst out in crying.  
What in the world was going on? His best friend acting towards him like this! He sat there for a while, hoping somebody would come back – or if it was a terrible nightmare, somebody would wake him up… preferably Paulie.  
No. Not Paulie. He just insulted the poor Fudgehog who was now beyond himself with grief. But, he figured – maybe there was something strange going on.  
He stood up, wiping away the tears from his eyes himself, and ran off in the opposite direction.


	2. Sour

His initial plan was to round up his gang of friends – whichever ones that were left, but something caught him off-track. It smelled so good, so good! His favourite food… Almost instinctively, he swerved towards the left and teetered into the bushes. Sweet, sweet candy… thistles. Whirlms. Sniffing the air fervently with his eyes closed, he was not paying much attention to where he was walking and tripped, to which he fell face-first to the floor, snapping him right out of his trance. Upon coughing up dirt, he noticed where the smell was coming from.

But it wasn't sweet, pastel-coloured candy like he was expecting. Or thistles, or Whirlms. That putrid red-and-black colour scheme of the small wrapped objects that littered the ground before him told him all he needed to know.  
Sour candy.  
The sour taste was masked by an unusual odour that recalled pleasant memories and thus also favourite food, in an attempt to lure unsuspecting piñatas into eating it.  
Somewhere in the far distance, behind another bush, just under the shade of a Monkeynut tree, was a fearful creature whose colour pattern closely resembled the disgusting candy he just saw scattered across the floor. It hacked and coughed, and the black-and-red candy created a pitter-patter as they fell upon the sandy ground.  
Fergy scrambled to his feet as quickly as he made the discovery and attempted to flatten himself against a big, robust tree, in the hope he wouldn't be seen – or smelled.  
The creature appeared to have smelled him nonetheless – or maybe just his fear. Nonetheless, it wasn't exactly useful in this situation.  
The Fudgehog's heart – or whatever it was piñatas had instead of one – was beating rapidly and he drew in air with quick, unsteady breaths and an occasional gulp. He could almost feel the creature's hot breath as it had snuck up on him and scraped its stout body against the tree bark.  
But it seemed to become distracted by something and ran off again. Relieved, Fergy sighed and wiped his forehead. Looking at the creature's departure, he noticed it was almost like a tank. A tank, with an absurdly large horn on its head.  
The beast was a sour Limeocerous – creatures as rare as they were dangerous. Rumours were that even Professor Pester had trouble with them. They had the nasty habit of bulldozering everything that came on their path, and coughing up sour candy as they went. And every piñata with their mind at full power knew that sour candy meant trouble. But its sweet smell would usually catch them off-guard…  
Fergy slid to the ground, clutching his chest and looking around nervously.  
"What are you doing now?"  
The voice had come from nowhere and it made the papery hedgehog yelp in surprise. It was his friend – no, ex-friend – Paulie. Paulie Pretztail.  
"What are you going to do? Laugh at me because that – that _thing_ didn't eat me!?" Fergy whined in a scratchy voice, gesturing towards where the Limeocerous ran off to.  
The Pretztail was hunched over and an evil glimmer was in his eyes. "Something like that," he said. "Pity that beast didn't eat you."  
He chuckled remorselessly. Fergy was about to burst out into tears again because of that mean comment when he noticed something… _off_, about his ex-friend.  
His teeth, instead of being straight and pearly white, appeared to be slightly sharper now, and crooked, especially in his lower jaw. That long, bushy tail that waved just above his head was discoloured – the tip was black instead of white, and an alarming shade of red.  
Fergy's eyes widened and his mouth fell open after he realized that maybe his friend had fallen victim to these terrible, terrible candies.  
"What are you looking at, Cluckle-lips?" Paulie growled. "Ya act like ya'd never seen a Pretztail before."  
"I…" Fergy stuttered. He squinted and flattened himself slightly against the ground in a defensive manner. "Paulie! I know you're in there somewhere… answer me!"  
The other piñata blinked a few times. An evil chuckle escaped him and he grabbed the Fudgehog by his neck with both paws, lifting him up in the air to confront him face-to-face.  
"You're good for nothin', you are! A low-down, irresponsible slacker!" he shouted into the poor piñata's face. But suddenly, there was a twitch in his face and his voice lowered – to the voice Fergy and everyone else were much more familiar with, but it was just for an instant. His eyes changed from a sickly green to normal white, and they looked forlorn and helpless. Just for a moment. "Fergs… save me, buddy."  
Quickly after that, his sour thoughts were getting back at him and he dropped his befuddled friend. With another snarl, he ran off into the distance, his long black-and-red-tipped tail waving behind him.  
"Paulie…" Fergy sniffled. But instead of doing anything, he lingered for a while, unsure what to think or do.


	3. Leafos

_Author's Note: There's something up when I try to change my chapter titles… I can't edit them. I messed up on them, so I'll edit them whenever this gets fixed. Just a heads-up! But, let's get back to the story._

* * *

He slunk to his home, forgetting about what he was supposed to do. It was rather important… He sprang to his feet as he remembered. Sour candy! Without hesitation, he ran towards Piñata Central. Langston probably wouldn't be too happy to see him, after what happened earlier this same morning, but he was one of the few he knew about that could spread the news.  
Fergy was panting once he reached the entrance to Piñata Central. Langston was there, noting things down on his clipboard. He looked up to smirk at the Fudgehog.  
"Well! Look what the Kittyfloss dragged in," he quipped. "Finally surrendering yourself, Fudgehog?"  
"Oh, shut up," Fergy muttered, still catching his breath. "There's… something… I… gotta… tell… ya…"  
"What is it? The bananas aren't ripe, and the Cinnamonkeys are in a tizzy? Heh!"  
"No. It's… Paulie… candy…"  
"What is it, boy? Speak up! I can't hear you!"  
"SourcandylimeocerousPaulieImisshimbestfriend! Waaagh!" Fergy began blubbering like a baby.  
Langston was unimpressed and kept looking at his clipboard. "Alright, and now in proper English with breaks and punctuation, pretty please?"  
"I saw sour candy lying around haphazardly and all – and a sour Limeocerous and Paulie – well, Paulie…" He didn't know how to formulate his sentences correctly at this point and covered his eyes, commencing his crying. He gave a long-winded, scratchy wail, flattening himself on the ground, this time out of despair. "Paulieeee…"  
"Goodness me, that sounds terrible!" Langston almost dropped his clipboard as he sprang to his feet – quite literally. "We gotta tell everyone. I'll tell Pecky Pudgeon and you just – well, just do whatever you can."  
Fergy stopped crying for a moment and looked up. "Does this mean I'm off the hook for today?"  
"Oh, Fergy, you're impossible…" Langston rolled his eyes and hopped away.

Soon enough, it was all over the news. The headlines on the island's local newspaper, the Piñata Yadda Yadda read; "Sour candy epidemic! Limeocerous attacks! Pretztail infected? Local Fudgehog says; 'Paulie, sour candy! Best friend! Waaagh!" (yes, those were his exact words)" and most if not all piñatas were aware and warned to not eat any sour candy they saw lying around, no matter how nice it smelled.  
A few days later, and even though he still had the rest of his friends by his side, Fergy opened the door to his leaf-adorned house and stepped out, giving a downhearted sigh. He was becoming exceedingly lonely without his fellow party hater on his side. Slacking off was fun, but it was more fun with your best friend! Wise words. It didn't matter – he was upset, because his friend wasn't seen for over a few days. Would it even matter? He was probably a savage beast by now, devouring everything in his path…  
He bumped into two long legs – not papery ones. As he rubbed his sore nose with a whine, he looked up and saw the friendly masked face of Leafos looking over him, with a well-meaning smile. This young human was one of the few that could be among the piñatas without scaring them off – and she was also one of the few of her kind to understand their language.  
"Can I help you, Fudgehog? You look worried," she asked in a sincere tone.  
Fergy stumbled backwards, not accustomed to humans very much – he always associated them with Professor Pester, and Professor Pester meant one thing in his tiny little mind – trouble. Leafos, however, was one of the most kind-hearted people on the island, so his fear was entirely unjustified.  
"Come now, don't be scared! I won't hurt you," she said with a voice so gentle and sweet that it would calm any piñata and knelt down, reaching out with a gloved hand in a friendly manner. Fergy's nose twitched and he looked from left to right, collecting himself and dusting himself off nonchalantly.  
"I wasn't scared," he lied and gave a forced smile.  
The girl nodded, standing up again and folding her hands before herself. "It's fine. But you look troubled. You should tell me if you want to, maybe I can help out?"  
"Oh, alright. Well, you see, I have a really good friend… he's a Pretztail, like any other. But he's eaten sour candy and now he hasn't been seen for a long while." Fergy twiddled his forepaws. "I was wondering if you could help me find him."  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Leafos said. "I can help you, but right now, I can't help you with finding him – I have to help beginning gardeners set up their things. And when I look at your pretty garden, you don't look very much like a beginner."  
A noticeable pout formed on the Fudgehog's face.  
"…But, I can help you out and lend you my journal. It has everything we know about every piñata we know. Almost everything."  
She made a few gestures into the sky and the dusty tome materialized into her thin, gloved hands. She knelt down once more and handed it to the needy Fudgehog. "Please be careful with it, though – it was my father's."  
Fergy's pout made place for a more curious expression, but he gladly accepted the book after sniffing it cautiously, and looked through some of its pages.  
So many plants, so many piñatas – and all in alphabetical order, as well. Some of them he had never even seen before.  
"Gee, thanks, miss…?"  
"Leafos," she said with a nod and a smile. "What's your name?"  
"Uh… gosh." Fergy blushed and looked down to the ground, still tightly clutching the journal with both his stubby forepaws. "Fergy. …Fergy Fudgehog, ma'am."  
"Alright, Fergy," she said and turned away to walk off into the other direction. "I have to go now. Good luck. Hope I'll see you later!"  
He watched her leave for a while with an absent-minded smirk before turning back to go into his house, the journal clutched under his right arm. "Sweet girl. Wonder why I haven't seen her before…"


	4. Paulie's return

He was going to lay down and recline, using his hump as an impromptu beanbag, and read the journal for a bit – when he heard a ruckus outside. A few loud snarls and the screaming of frightened piñatas.

He immediately placed the journal aside and sprang up, running towards the door and opening it just a crack, which he peeked through.  
It was a downright disaster. Distraught piñatas were running everywhere and when he took a step outside, Ella Elephanilla ran over to him and tripped, landing on the unfortunate hedgehog-like piñata.  
"…Wait, what am I running from again?" she asked herself and stood up, casually trotting away – but then she saw the thing she was supposed to be running from, gave a shriek and stumbled over Fergy yet again. The squashed Fudgehog angrily yelled something after her, but it went unheard. When he shook his head and looked to the central area of his neighbourhood, he saw a fierce, red-and-black coloured beast ploughing through the gardens like a bulldozer. He immediately recognized it as a sour – but not the Limeocerous from a few days ago. This one had a long snout, snaggly teeth, and twin tails that were poofy… poofy and–…  
Fergy recognized him, even if it took him a while. That monster there was Paulie – albeit a primitive, aggressive version of the same Pretztail. He ploughed forth, coughing up those terrible sour candies as he did. Meanwhile, Fergy's jaw dropped at the sight.  
When he saw the beast ram against a tree in an attempt to topple it over, he pulled a stick that was normally used to keep flowers straight from his garden, and held it before him like a sword – though it appeared brave, his posture told otherwise. Shaking knees and chattering teeth, accompanied by shifty, uncertain eye movements implied that he definitely wasn't enjoying this at all.  
No. He realized something – if this really was Paulie, he would recognize his old friend. Fergy knew this. There was nothing to be afraid of – behind all those razor-sharp teeth and that pungent sour odour was still his friend. Behind those really sharp and frightening murderer's teeth…  
This wasn't gonna work. He began wailing in fright, out of merely not knowing what to think or do, when the monster saw him. It came towards him with loud, heavy steps, growling menacingly.  
"Paulie… I know you're in there! I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid of you!" Fergy yelped, but it didn't sound very convincing. His voice gave out and changed into a repetitive whine as he spoke. "You're my pal! Don't do this to me-hee-_hee-hee_!"  
The monstrous Pretztail snarled, advancing towards the brave, small Fudgehog, driving him against a wall. It snapped, but missed – he was able to hold him off with the stick he had fetched. Poking it into the sour Pretztail's chest, he swallowed hard and looked it into the eyes.  
His frightful expression changed – it changed into a brave one. A sure, certain frown. It had no effect. The monster lunged and snapped at him again, chomping only air. He was being held off with that measly stick.  
"You… don't scare me!" Fergy piped. "You're my friend!"  
No response. At least, no intelligible response – the sour Pretztail merely snapped again, and again, and again… but no bite ever hit.  
While Fergy was doing all that was within his power to hold this monstrous version of what was once his friend off, his other friends came hurrying to offer eventual help. Hudson Horstachio, Franklin Fizzlybear, Ella Elephanilla, Tina and Teddington Twingersnap, even Les Galagoogoo.  
"Dude, is that Paulie? What's happened to him?" Franklin asked.  
"Who's Paulie?" That was Ella, obviously.  
"Dear heavens, Fergy! You know I'm late for my manicure! What are you –…"  
"Oh, will you shut up already, you bloody show Ponocky!" the distressed Fudgehog yelped.  
Hudson frowned. "Show Ponocky? That's not very nice…"  
Les squeaked something unintelligible while he pointed at Fergy.  
"What's that? Oh! Hey, guys! I think Fergy here could use some help overpowering this beast!" Hudson suggested. Les face-palmed.  
"You're holding a stick, Fergy! Use it!" Tina yelled.  
Oddly enough, the monster didn't seem to react to everyone gathering around them. It was as if he had only eyes for that frightened Fudgehog.  
"No," Fergy said resolutely. Tears prickled into his eyes. Because behind those green slits that were its eyes, and that frightening red shade of its paper, he still saw Paulie, his friend – the other half of the party crashers, as they so often called themselves. Though he was the only one who recognized him. "I… I can't do this..."  
It took him much longer than he thought it did, holding off the sour version of what was once his best friend, but it was becoming increasingly tougher as time went on. Too tough. Too tough…  
He was almost about to face his defeat gracefully, when he remembered something, something very important.  
"The journal!"  
His friends looked at each other with puzzled expressions.  
"Guys! There's a journal on my bed – get that thing and look for an article on sour Pretztails!"  
The gang of paper animals looked at each other and nodded in agreement, hurrying inside and carrying the book outside together. Hudson and Franklin held the book while Tina flipped through the pages – Teddy summed up the contents he saw. "Polollybear, Ponocky… Ah! Pretztail!" he said, and began reading through the page. "Yadda, yadda… appear requirements, romance requirements… ah, there's the sour… appear, tame, tame, where's to tame it… ah!"  
Everyone held their breaths. But as soon as they read the requirements, their hearts sank and they looked at Fergy with an almost apologetic expression.  
"What?"  
Tina held up the book in a way so that Fergy could see it as well, and he almost dropped his stick when he read what was written there. His face turned pale and he looked even more frightened than he did before.

_Resident requirements: has eaten one Fudgehog._


End file.
